Prayer is one of the most fundamental spiritual disciplines, yet many of us struggle with how to approach it consistently. Rather than viewing prayer as something we must do to earn God’s favor, we can embrace it as an opportunity to grow deeper in relationship with Him.
What Are Spiritual Disciplines Really About?
Before diving into prayer specifically, it’s important to understand that spiritual disciplines aren’t about earning God’s love. There’s nothing you can do to make God love you more than He already does. He calls you beloved and sees you as His child right now.
The purpose of spiritual disciplines is to step into a greater dimension of God’s love – to encounter and experience Him more fully. These practices help us partner with God in our spiritual growth, not to gain His approval, but simply to know Him better.
Why Do People Pray?
Prayer is remarkably common, even among those who don’t consider themselves religious. Statistics show that 58% of Americans pray at least once a week, and surprisingly, 46% of people with no religious background still pray. This suggests we were created for communication with God.
The disciples recognized this need when they asked Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11). They had watched Him pray and wanted to learn this vital spiritual practice for themselves.
Moving From Fear-Based to Love-Based Prayer
Many of us begin our prayer lives trying to earn something from God – His favor, His blessing, or His attention. This fear-based approach can lead to spiritual pride and a sense of striving that misses the heart of prayer.
When we shift to love-based prayer, everything changes. Instead of praying to earn God’s favor, we pray because we want to know Him better. We approach Him not out of obligation, but out of genuine desire for relationship.
The PRAY Method: A Practical Framework (credit: Pete Greig & 24/7 Prayer Movement)
Using the acronym PRAY, we can develop a simple yet profound approach to prayer:
P – Pause
Before rushing into our requests, we need to pause. This means taking time to center ourselves in God’s presence, moving from restlessness to rest. In our culture of constant motion and distraction, pausing is revolutionary.
Pausing might look like:
Taking 30 seconds in your car before driving to center your mind on God
Sitting quietly for a few minutes when you wake up
Going for a peaceful walk without distractions
Simply being still and knowing that He is God
The Psalms use the word “selah” over 70 times – a musical instruction to pause and reflect. We can apply this same principle to our prayer lives.
R – Rejoice
The Lord’s Prayer begins with “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be your name.” This is worship – acknowledging God’s holiness and celebrating His goodness. When we rejoice, something happens in our hearts. As one psalm says, “As the praise goes up, His presence comes down.”
Rejoicing involves celebrating God’s faithfulness, His goodness, and all He has brought us through. It shifts our perspective from our problems to His greatness.
A – Ask
This is often our favorite part of prayer – bringing our requests to God. The key principle to remember is: if it’s on your heart, it’s on His mind. Nothing is too small or insignificant for God.
Our asking includes two types of prayer:
Personal petitions: Our own needs, concerns, and desires
Intercession: Praying for others, our communities, and regions
God wants to know what’s weighing you down, what you’re carrying, and what you’re journeying through. He invites us to bring everything to Him.
Y – Yield
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of prayer in our culture is yielding – surrendering control to God. This means acknowledging that His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways.
Yielding doesn’t mean being passive; it means actively choosing to trust God’s wisdom over our own understanding. It’s like approaching a yield sign while driving – we slow down, assess the situation, and proceed according to what’s safest, not just what we want to do.
Developing Consistency in Prayer
Every time you pray – whether it’s a simple “help” or a longer conversation with God – you’re taking a vote for the type of person you’re becoming. Over time, these moments accumulate, and you gradually become a more prayerful person.
The goal isn’t perfection but consistency. Whether you pray when driving to work, during your morning routine, or while taking a bath, the key is developing regular rhythms of connecting with God.
Coming to God As You Are
You don’t have to clean up your emotions before approaching God. You can come angry, disappointed, or confused. The Psalms are full of honest, raw prayers from people who brought their real feelings to God.
If you’re mad at God, bring that anger to Him. If you’re discouraged because He hasn’t met your expectations, tell Him about it. God can handle your honesty, and He’d rather have your authentic heart than your polite pretense.
Life Application
This week, commit to implementing the PRAY method in your daily routine. Choose a specific time each day – whether morning, lunch break, or evening – to practice this four-step approach to prayer. Start with just 5-10 minutes: Pause to center yourself, Rejoice in God’s goodness, Ask for what you and others need, and Yield your plans and concerns to Him. Remember, you’re not trying to earn anything from God; you’re simply growing in relationship with Him.
Questions for Reflection:
Am I approaching prayer from a place of love or fear?
What would it look like for me to pause more regularly in God’s presence?
What specific things do I need to yield to God’s control this week?
How can I make prayer a consistent vote for the person I’m becoming rather than just an occasional cry for help?
Paul Deary 